Welcome to Lord Zion’s filthy corner of the internet

In life, three things are certain: taxes, death and yet another bloody blog site. This is the latter. (Although, if you want to send me money and call it tax, I am up for that too.) So, what’s this one all about, then? Well, me, mostly. My musings on daily life and what I am currently up to. Some of you might know me from my band; some my brand. Others may have read a book and others may have stumbled across this site purely by accident and are now frantically searching for the little X in the corner to Go Away Quickly. Whatever, all are welcome. If you are unsure where to begin – or just want to explore a bit further to see if this place is for you – I would recommend you start here.



“If all we have is right now, what happens when you don’t know what to do with it?” And so began the most confusing time of my life. You see, for many years, I had pursued one goal. Fueled by an artistic bent and great ambition, I wanted to become an awesome rock star. I went some way to achieving that – a big fish in a very, very small pond – but, the closer I got to the Ultimate Goal, the more I realised I didn’t want it.

“Zion is a dreamer. Always has been, always will be. Probably best known as a founder member and vocalist of UK rock band SPiT LiKE THiS, alongside his long-time partner-in-crime Vikki Spit, with whom he also started and still runs the rather outrageous and offensively hilarious merch site, SMELLYOURMUM.COM. More recently, movies have been a thing in the form of BLAZE OF GORY and MEET THE CADAVERS. He is probably missing something.”

Bestselling book

“If you believe in what you do, others will believe in you. That is why you must follow your own truth. People will always spot a liar. It may make you unpopular to some and it will lead to many, awkward, unwelcome stand-offs, but life is full of those anyway, so you may as well get what you want out of them.”


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The latest musings, ramblings and discussions.


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Vikki has bought some tape that looks like crime scene tape. I'm slightly concerned. If it goes quiet on here in a few days, someone call the rozzers... ... See MoreSee Less

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Perfect evening; I had to go out and sit, relax and take it all in. Then Vikki, Skilly and Penguin the chicken joined in. Skilly has clearly worked out where eggs come from.
#countrylife #backyardpoultry #gardenpoultry #exbatteryhens #rescuechickens #rescueanimals #northernpennines #pennines #pennineway #zen
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I used to use this image of the rabbit nobbing the chicken in our SMELLYOURMUM.COM ads come Easter because, y'know, I'M CHILDISH.

Little did I know then, just a few small spins around the sun later, I could well have taken that photo in my garden. Not that there are rabbits mounting chickens but there ARE rabbits and the ARE chickens, ergo, the potential is there. Fingers crossed!

PS Use code EASTER for 20% orders over £20 at www.smellyourmum.com - See what I did there? Sneaked an ad in at ya. Sneaky like a sneaky thing...
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