Online Shops

Right around the same time that Vikki and I were starting SLT, we came to the conclusion that we might need some money. Useful for food and so on, but also pretty essential to build the band.

Neither of us wanted to get proper jobs. I’ve never had one of those and I wasn’t about to start. So, we started throwing some ideas around when I remembered some T-Shirt designs I had come up with. It seemed the ideal solution: print and sell sweary T-Shirts to the very same kinds of people that might be interested in our band.

2002 we launched the website. It was very different back then. Remember, eCommerce wasn’t around so much and it was much harder for an unestablished business to get a merchant account and we relied on PayPal and cheques. Remember those?!

There were only six designs to begin with. We did some crazy guerrilla marketing in those days and had an army of people around the world that was spreading our filthy message far and wide. Sales started coming in and we soon realised that the initial six designs wouldn’t be enough.

Vikki decided to learn to screen print. This would take the problem (and expense) of pre-guessing which designs would be popular in what sizes. She was soon proficient enough for us to massively expand our range.

The company from that point grew fast and we invested every spare penny into the band. Our theory that the T-Shirt audience and band audience were similar was spot-on: both fueled the popularity of the other.

And so it went on. In 2004 we were finally allowed a proper, grown-up merchant account with the bank. Things really exploded at that point so we diversified into other garments, like hoodies, vests etc. We also introduced cards and tried other items with varying degrees of success. In 2008, we started selling our items at tattoo conventions and comiccons around the country, expanding our audience even further.

Of course, all of this is easy to write in a few paragraphs, much harder to do on a day-to-day basis. The support we received from our customers was amazing. It was Kickstarter before such a thing existed.

The most recent change was in 2016 when we moved lock, stock and barrel over to a Shopify platform. In all the years we have been selling, we have NEVER increased our prices, even though we have unavoidable expenses yearly (ie, postage costs, blank t-shirt costs) which keep increasing. Moving from our own, expensive server to the much cheaper Shopify platform cut our monthly internet costs dramatically, allowing us to keep our prices the same.

What is the future? At this point, it is hard to say. Writing is becoming more and more important to me and a lot of our focus is currently on building Vikki’s Buck You business. At some point, something has to give. But we are so proud of what we have achieved with SMELLYOURMUM.COM – it has become one of the most well-known alternative brands out there – that we are reluctant to just let it whither and die. Ideally, we will find some like-minded people that can buy the business from us. There is so much room for expansion, but we just don’t have the time.

UPDATE September 2018 All good things must come to an end. But SMELLYOURMUM.COM was – and is – GREAT, so there was no way we could just let it fade away. So we sold it, to a mate, who has promised to carry on with our mission as planned. Best of all, he was there when we launched it way back when, so it has gone full circle. Please support Craig in his new venture and, if you ever shopped with us – ta!

I’ve always had an interest in antiques and collectables. Members of my extended family would have antiques around and distant memories even owned shops I would visit. Over the years, I have dabbled in various areas of collecting and, what tends to happen is that I start selling off doubles and, next thing I know, I have started a new business! It was vintage Star Wars toys in my twenties and, now, it is antiques and vintage items.

It was several years ago that I started buying antiques. As my tastes and knowledge expanded, my collection became more and more eclectic. I also didn’t only stick to antiques and would buy items from the 20th century, right up to the 1990s. I was trying to coin a phrase for my quirky collection and then it struck me: Quirkabilia.

After a while, I took the procuring of items a bit more seriously and started to sell them on eBay. points to the eBay store which now has hundreds of hard-to-find, rare and unusual items for sale.

I enjoy tracking down old items. There is something about the marks left by the passage of time that I love. These objects that had such meaning to someone once, it is nice to find a new custodian for them. My favourite items are from the Art Deco period, both world wars, mid century kitsch and art.

If I can keep an eye out for anything for you, drop me a line. Furthermore, if you have items for sale you think I might be interested in, get in touch.

After moving up north, Vikki realised a dream and got her own horse, Cato. Since then, we have also re-homed a pony called Jango and a Shetland, Spartacus.

Obviously, horses need stuff and I noted that Vikki had no problem offloading that stuff when she acquired new stuff. So I suggested that maybe she should look for job lots to buy and sell. This she did and it flew out.

More recently, she has designed her own bridles and saddles, moving away from the traditional equipment to gear that is aligned more with her ethical training methods. To achieve this required some capital, which is where I come in! Although not at all anything to do with the day-to-day running of her business, I may throw out the odd suggestion or two. Apart from that, it is simply a really nice feeling to be able to fund her start-up and help her realise the dream of being able to make a living from the world of horses. The way things are going, she is on to a winner.

Not only is she designing her own tack (I knew there was a word for it), she is an official Positive Reinforcement Trainer and part of the Horse Charming Worldwide Collective, motto: “Science-based, force free, education and training for people and horses”. Her student base is building and she has clients all over the world who are discovering a new – and better – way of training their horses. Some have lessons in person, most is done over the internet.

Anyway, I am not the person to tell you all about this. If you have the need for tack or horse training, please contact Vikki direct. I stuck this up on my site because I am doing a good boyfriend deed 🙂

For new and used tack, including Vikki’s unique ethical range, visit For more information on positive reinforcement training methods go to

To email Vikki directly for a lesson, contact her at

Zion is a dreamer. Always has been, always will be. Probably best known as a founder member and vocalist of UK rock band SPiT LiKE THiS, alongside his long-time partner-in-crime Vikki Spit, with whom he also started and still runs the rather outrageous and offensively hilarious merch site, SMELLYOURMUM.COM.
As a singer in a touring rock band, staying in top physical condition was vital to staying healthy on the road. Cancelling a show just because you feel a bit tired or are sick is not an option.

I always took supplements to keep me going. Over the years, they have awoken my half-dead body, giving what I needed to perform at 100%.

I have learned which supps are worth taking and which ones are a waste of money. So now I sell them. Personal service. Fast delivery. No bullshit. Visit

I also want to offer a personal service so, if there is anything you currently take and want to see if I can beat the prices you are paying, or if there is something you want me to try and source, email me on

After starting to sell supplements, the next natural step for me was to start my very own range of supplements. So, here it is: TANK Incorporated.

Launched in August 2018 with four initial products, the aim is to supply quality supplements that offer great performance with good value for money.

Available on Amazon & eBay.

“A mighty roar filled the hall and I felt a feeling I had never felt before. I needed to bottle that shit and take it daily. alternatively, I could become a rock star.”

-LORD ZION from “A Life Amid Crisis”