45 Not Out

His LordshipRamblings, Musings, Incoherent Babbling3 Comments

45 Not Out

It’s my birthday today (it’s OK, I know your present is lost in the post): 45 years old. I don’t think I look it and I don’t think I feel it. But, there it is. Somehow, I am 45.

I used to be 20. Fuck it, I used to be 5. In fact, pick any number under 45 and I have been it. I didn’t enjoy my twenties very much. I was young and intelligent but looked like a bonehead so was treated as such. I remember approaching 30 getting really nervous but once it happened, I suddenly felt very different and people took me more seriously. Whether that was in my mind, I’m not sure, but Vikki says she experienced the same.

So when I was approaching 40, I really shouldn’t have been nervous of leaving my 30s behind but I was. 40 seemed so oooooooold and how on earth was I nearly that? I still looked similar to how I did in my 20s and certainly felt almost the same.

40 came and went. Overnight, I went from shying away from discussing my age (it was a trade secret) to shouting it out from the rooftops. I felt proud having reached such a milestone, especially considering the times I nearly took myself out of the game.

My 40s have been Mostly Excellent. Of course, we all have our down days, dumb days, forgetful days, but I am living an exciting period of my life. Weirdly, I feel like I am just at the beginning of my life rather than at the end of my youth. Ahh, youth…very overrated. Provided you look after yourself, there isn’t much to miss from it. I certainly would not want to be 20 again, or 30. I was an idiot compared to how I am now. I’m sure I will look back at this age when I am 60 and bemuse at what a doughnut I was.

Jeez, 60. I am the same distance from that than I am 30. That is crazy! But a good crazy. Life, for me, starts today. Tomorrow is to be looked forward to and yesterday may as well be forgotten. I know that I have some really cool things to come – helping Vikki grow her business, continue writing books and films, build or renovate a house in a completely new country – and who knows what else!

Best of all though is that every single day is an opportunity; an opportunity to learn, grow, contribute and experience.

3 Comments on “45 Not Out”

  1. You should be a life coach…. then there would be far more seriously clued up pbmf’s on the planet 🌎

  2. You’re in a good place Z! 🙂 And you’re still very young you know! :))
    Hope you had a great Birthday, and got lots of pressies! :))
    Xxx

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