One of the most often asked questions since stopping doing music has to be “Do you miss it?”. At first, I had to delve deep to really think about the answer. Did I miss it or was I just happy to have a break from it? After all, when Vikki and I moved in 2014 it was never with the intention that the music would stop.
But it did. And neither of us had the urge to get back on that conveyor belt. For a while, both of us were wary of saying anything to the other about it. Eventually, it needn’t be said as it was quite obvious that we both wanted the same thing: peace.
We found it almost by accident. Yes, we were looking for a place to live in the middle of nowhere but, if you have never experienced real tranquility you cannot quite imagine how overwhelming it is. The hectic lives that we had experienced for decades had ceased to be and our small world expanded expodentially.
PHOTO: Taken today at the river near our home, one of my favourite places.
Being in a band is a great thing to do. It can be ridiculously fun and is full of experiences most can only imagine. But it is also hard work often with very or little reward. There is no career trajectory, no promotion, no stability and can be brutal in a way that very jobs can be. After all, if you are an accountant, chances are you won’t Google your name to find reviews about yourself telling the world how much you suck!
I am not complaining. It is what I wanted, I knew the pitfalls and accepted the lifestyle willingly. However, as we travel through life, we change. Things that were vital to our existance when we were 20 seem irrelevant at 40. The hectic, screaming whirlwind of chaos and mayhem is of little interest as the ego of youth slowly moves over to make way for some kind of enlightenment. Different priorities come to the fore.
I fully understand that anyone in their 20s or 30s reading this will wonder what the fuck I am on about. That I sold out or am getting old and boring and they will never – NEVER – be like that. And maybe they are right. I hope for their sake they aren’t. Our life’s journey is about expanding knowledge through experience and learning. If you are the same person at 40 as you were at 20, something has gone very wrong.
Have I sold out? Fuck off! Anyone that accuses me of selling out is more than welcome to live the 25 years I did devoted to being a working musician. It is hard. There are other things in life to do and I wanted to try different things. Am I getting old and boring? Well, I am getting older and I hope to continue to get older. With any luck, I will get really fucking old. I don’t think that being boring is an accusation that could ever be levelled at me, but it isn’t for me to say. But, to me, someone who is boring would be someone that never grows, develops or changes.
My past is there for all to see, my future is To Be Determined and my present is all about being PRESENT.