If there is one thing that is stopping you getting the most out of your life, it is you. Sure, you can point the finger of blame toward circumstance or friends or relatives or colleagues, but that is just an excuse people use to prevent them facing up to the fact.
People don’t strive for greatness for many reasons. Fear, insecurity, laziness. All are valid reasons for not reaching for the skies but have the decency to admit it to yourself.
Blaming external forces and influences for your own failings is weak. Anyone who has ever achieved anything of significance reached a crossroad where they could have turned right back around and run a mile, or go down the road less travelled.
Let’s explore those reasons above. The first, fear. Fear of trying or fear of failing. If you have a dream and you put effort into achieving it and fail, that dream is gone. So the easier thing to do is still have that dream but not attempt attainment. I always wanted to be a rock star, everyone told me I couldn’t do it or I shouldn’t try. I ignored them because I knew, if I didn’t at least try, I would regret it forever. And, although I didn’t reach the stratospheric heights I dreamt of in my youth, I got high enough up the ladder to feel I had ticked that box.
Insecurity is a tough one. Out of those three excuses, this is the one I have the most time for. I understand insecurity and it can be a massive hurdle to overcome. I was never a gregarious person and still today, in a crowd, I will be quiet and simply observe the situation. Drink brought me out of that shell, but not to my advantage. I learnt to take babysteps. Rather than focus on THE BIG SCARY THING I HAVE TO DO, I would concentrate on the very next step toward that. Next thing you know, your confidence has built to the point where you find yourself in the middle of a situation you previously felt imrobable, or even impossible.
Laziness is unforgivable. Or at least it is if you blame anyone or anything other than yourself for your failings. I am all for anyone turning around saying, “I wanted to be a lawyer, but I couldn’t be bothered, so I’m happy to sit around in my pants masturbating to Game Of Thrones” – cool. Own it. But the people I find detestible are those that cannot recognise – or fail to acknowledge – their laziness and accuse everyone and everything else for their shortcomings.
Throughout my own life, I have been guilty of all of the above. It takes bravery, heart, intelligence, acknowledgement, bravado to battle all to win. But, if you want to get shit done, winning is the only option. It’s OK to try and fail, but it is never OK to just not try.